Wellness With Her Club

To listen to this post, tap here and download the Affirm Your Life June Challenge Worksheet right here.

Being raised in an African home sometimes means that it feels wrong to ask this question; who or what is fuelling my light, and what’s dimming it? (Because what made you think you have a choice?)

I’m here to share with you, however, that you do.

Our energy really is a currency. What we give, we must replenish. As we receive energy, we also give it. That’s how every interaction, exchange and engagement has the potential to be transactional.

But too often, we find ourselves exhausted, overstimulated, or unfulfilled without a clear sense of why. In the language of wellness, this is the difference between energy givers and energy takers.

🔋 What Are Energy Givers?

Energy givers are people, practices, environments, and habits that fill your internal tank. They affirm your being, make you feel alive, centred, and expansive. They restore balance.

Examples of Energy Givers:

• Restorative movement like mindful stretching, dancing, or long walks in nature
• Deep, present conversations that don’t demand performance but offer presence.
• Whole foods that nourish instead of spike (think: complex carbs, greens, fruit, healthy fats).
• Creative expression such as journaling, painting, singing, crafting.
• Thoughtful social media use.
• Laughter and play that break monotony and ignite joy.
• Hydration, breathwork, and sleep hygiene; the quiet trio that gives more than we notice
• People who listen without trying to fix you
• A tidy, clear space that reflects inner clarity
• Spiritual practices that return you to self (prayer, meditation, or simply silence)

Energy givers create a surge of clarity and connection. They don’t compete for your attention; they align it. These are the things and beings that call you back to your best self.

🔌 What Are Energy Takers?

Energy takers, by contrast, are subtle (and not-so-subtle) drains on your emotional, physical, or spiritual bandwidth. They leave you depleted, dysregulated, or disconnected from your centre.

Common Energy Takers:

• Doomscrolling and unfiltered digital noise
• Overexposure to negative environments (loud, chaotic, or draining social scenes)
• One-sided relationships where you’re always the giver
• Processed foods, sugar crashes, and dehydration
• Poor boundaries (the inability to say no or rest when needed)
• Overworking without recovery
• Self-criticism and comparison
• Unresolved clutter (in the mind, inbox, or living space)
• Rushing from one thing to the next with no stillness

These takers may feel necessary in a busy world, but they come at a cost. They interfere with our nervous system, disrupt hormone regulation, and dull our internal rhythm.

🧭 How to Tell the Difference

Sometimes, the same activity can be either, depending on intention. Social media can uplift or drain. Friends can energize or exhaust. A workout can leave you renewed or completely burnt out.

So ask yourself:

• Does this make me feel more like myself?
• Do I feel spacious or contracted after this?
• Am I acting from alignment or obligation?

🌱 Affirm Your Energy, Consciously

This month, let your wellness practice be about discernment. You don’t need to abandon your life, but you do need to become its editor.

“I welcome what fills me. I release what depletes me.”

Protecting your energy is an act of self-respect.

And when your energy is protected, your clarity, creativity, and contribution expand.

✨ Energy Audit Prompt for the Week

Write down:

• 3 things/people/environments that give you energy
• 3 that drain you
• What one small shift can you make today?

Then, repeat:

“My energy is sacred. I channel it wisely. I move in light.”