Wellness With Her Club

At 1:30 this morning, I was fighting for my life. Gasping for air and seemingly failing miserably. As my dad helped me into the car, I felt all my walls give away and I succumbed to the ugly big girl tears that couldn’t seem to stop streaming down my face. “How could I possibly be so weak right now? I’m a very strong girl. Why can’t I breathe?”

Just for a back story, I’ve been asthmatic all my life and because it was always a strong point to get out of difficult drills during volleyball at school, I greatly relied on it. However like I said, I’m a strong girl and had never to my awareness gotten a bad attack. Mum said I’d gotten a couple when I was a baby, but other than that, I’d never really felt that way. The sinusitis was a regular though and there were instances when I wouldn’t even show up to school or work for fear of my running nose being a point of social embarrassment.

Leaning between knowing I wasn’t being dramatic this time and the possibility that this might be the last time I could actually be breathing. I looked at my dad speeding across the bridge and I was so happy, I was spending time with the best people in my world. Treis, my little sister’s hand reassuringly squeezing my shoulder as she sat in the back seat. I was moved to more emotional tears because I was just glad that I wasn’t by myself. In a car speeding across the Nile, I’d never been closer to home, in a city that calls me it’s own.

We got to the hospital and dad went in to ensure the doctor was awake and he was, I pulled myself out of the seat because life had already humbled me. I wasn’t about to let pity get a hold of my frame anymore. Soon, I was lie-sitting back, as it hurt to breathe when I lay down, on the hospital bed and receiving my first drip in over 6 years. Finally, my nasal cavity started processing oxygen and I could breathe better. Tears occasionally streamed down my face as I thought about how my life had flashed before my eyes, and I knew what I had to do. Life is so fickle, you just never know.

Work Life

So… at 3:00am, I was fine enough to check in and form coherent thoughts so I picked my phone and sent my boss an update. Quite confident that he’d understand and all was well. On waking up, I found a long message from one of my supervisors, who in summary was calling me a liar as clearly I’d chosen to make this up during the festive season. At first I was appalled, of all times that I’d banked on the attacks as reasons to be absent, the one time it was true, I was called out for being a liar. Karma, bitch is that you?

I was exhausted man, like what do you mean I’m lying? If anything, this was the most honest I’d ever been because now more than ever, had I appreciated intentional living and integrity. Naturally, it hurts and you know the world we live in, it’s like suck it up. Just ignore everything and suck it up. I tried, for a week, I decided to show up and show out. After all, mama ain’t raised a quitter but something about toxic work environments that just hasn’t aligned.

I have a lot to learn, I’m going to be honest. 8 do know that and as I watch life unfolding, however frightened I am especially concerning my finances but like my mum told me before I left home;

Whoever chases you, opens newer doors for you.

-Mama Gene

I wasn’t exactly chased but the environment just wasn’t it. Right now, the priority is to focus on my company and let it soar to great heights. May the odds be ever in my favor. ❤️