Wellness With Her Club

Maybe I’ve been watching one too many TEdxTalks ( is that even possible?) but life has been moving real different lately. After my godmother went back to her creator, I have to admit I had a lot of thoughts on my mind. Questions whose answers I knew and yet, I wasn’t facing up to the truth

They say the truth sets you free, but first it will piss you off, boy oh boy, did this one scare me.

After living the past few months… that graduated into years, in a constant state of anxiety, I was convinced I was coming out of my shell. Just a few days back however had me wondering… “What is it about my life that just isn’t working? Why do I feel the way I feel? Why don’t I see the billions freestyling into my bank account?” Even if I’m on a spiritual journey, I do get plagued by such questions.

So when the news that she’d passed away reached me, I was numb for a while. Probably shock, in the moment, I felt like it was indifference. Two days later however, had me sobbing inconsolably in the front seat of a taxi. Yeah, it was that bad. She was so young and had achieved so much, how could she be dead? I wondered.

During the mass celebrating her life, my mum sent me a link because I couldn’t make it and I saw a whole description of her life. Her educational background and work experience was awe inspiring to say in the least, she was an MD after all, with a PhD so it’s safe to say, yes she was quite something.

This made me sit back and ask myself some questions. Yes that all looks good on paper but it certainly doesn’t matter to her as she lies in the grave. No. What it does though… it inspires and motivates not just me, but all the women that watched such a phenomenal woman achieve all she did. To win in life, and inspire both while you live and after you’re gone is mo easy feat. Even if “society” might try to paint out your short comings because you seem to have fallen short on the social scale, it all doesn’t matter in the final place. None of it matters, but that doesn’t mean you falter and fail. Just like that. No it means we keep living intentionally, fully and wholly.

I sat back and evaluated my life. Is this what I truly want? No? Then why do I keep doing it? Back in high school, I liked to think that I was a cool kid… or at least well known. It would feel nice to post a picture on Facebook and get 80+ comments and 1k likes. So yes, to me, I was pretty popular. This slowly bloomed into social media anxiety as every opportunity to post or share a moment caused great stress and mixed feelings. “Do I really want to put it out? Will people like? What if someone unfollows me?”

I didn’t know then what I know now, that none of it ever matters. I’d always sit back and wish so badly to be an Instagram baddie. Hell, sometimes it visits unannounced when I’m innocently scrolling down Instagram lane. Only now, I sit back and accept that if it’s meant to be and it’s for me, then it’s already planted on my path. Id want the clean cut photos and videos that look like so much effort went into them and yet at the same time, they looked so effortless. How were these people doing it? I didn’t ask the right questions then. How can I do it?

Always sitting and watching other people, wishing we could do what they do is fun, what’s even more fun is sitting and watching them do what you’d like to do and casually saying, “I could definitely do better.”

But are you doing it? Nope.

Would you wish you could do it? Yes.

So why don’t you just do it?

Well…

It’s easy to live a life of excuses. “I could have done it but my phone camera is shit, Instagram people prefer to engage with quality, I don’t have enough money to do it” etc etc. The list is endless because the thing about excuses is you can never run out on them. They just keep coming, one more creative than the last one.

I like to think of myself as different. Actually a lot of people do think of me as “different” in the way I think. The way I apply how I think. The way I present myself to people. It’s all… different to them. Only mistake I made however was for a moment, want to be like everyone else. Every other girl I was meeting was sexier, funnier, “baddier”… the comparison wasn’t ending. Why was I constantly doing this to myself? Because I forgot. I forgot who I was. I forgot who I was raised to be. I forgot who I was made to be.

And it’s okay to forget, it happens, we’re human, but once you have a chance to remember, it’s a sin to choose to ignore it.

But guess what your girl did, well, I chose to ignore it. To keep playing small, getting high “on life”, getting drunk to cope (what was I even coping with? No idea honestly)

I was born in a family of fierce women. At family gatherings, our cake is decorated with “The year of the Phoenix.” To represent all the women that live with the fire in their veins. So to dull my fire, still my waters or hush my cry is a sin.

Too many times, we choose to dampen the fire in our veins and our hearts because the people around us, seem cold. It’s to no fault of their own, because there are so many reasons as to why people forget their true power like the environment they are exposed to, life situations and so many other reasons. To truly live however, we have to live out loud, and that gets lonely. Most times you won’t have people in your life vibrating at the same frequency, but that’s okay. Don’t switch the vibration, just stay tuned in and watch how the ones that deserve you, naturally align with you.

Truth be told, the story we’ve been telling ourselves for so long is flawed. In all its essence with a lot of holes and untrue twists, but that’s when we rewrite. We CTRL + DEL; Or if you even prefer, just tear the whole dang page up. It’s our script after all.

So here’s to life, here’s to us that would love to win. Here’s to the women that have walked the paths before us and rose, shining just like the Phoenix. May they keep watching over us as we conquer our demons, big and small. Here’s to rewriting.

🤍

Rianne.

---

Yay, you came this far! I appreciate you so much for taking time out to read this article. If you liked engaging, there is a lot more where this came from. Tap the menu above and you’ll see the categories. Tap any category and you’ll see more posts.

Also if you are new to Rywriting, join the party and subscribe so that you can receive all updates straight in your inbox. The process is simple – you can choose to tap the follow button or put your email in the slot labelled ‘subscribe to the blog’. You’ll receive a confirmation email for your subscription.

So just like that…you are a part of the Rewriting Journey. Share with a friend so we grow together.